March 31, 2016
This has been the weirdest season of my life. Hands down. It is so rich and deep, yet just weird. Rob and I get to create space (physically and mentally) to prepare for this sweet baby, but nothing has filled that space yet.
Last week we were down to one car, because we forgot to re-new our tags. Many families live with one car or less.. but this was new for us. I sat at home doing work, it was freezing outside with a foot of fresh snow, and my laundry was done. It was day three without a car for me and we planned on me being able to take the car for a few hours that day. Something important came up and Rob needed the car during my time for errands. I cried. Literally, I pouted and cried. I felt trapped at home, alone and not needed. For some reason a few errands made me feel like I had purpose and was needed for the day. While attending my pitty party, I heard this little whisper in my head say ‘Surely you will be home many days in a row with a newborn, are you going to blame the baby?’ This snapped me out of my pitty and made me realize how silly I was being. How crazy it is that a run to Target would give me purpose and make me feel successful for the day?
I have realized when my to-do list is small, my inbox is empty or I don’t feel busy, I begin to loose my sense of value or worth. This is crap. I fill my schedule with tasks simply so that I feel busy or needed, like buying cleaner at Target.
So, I’m learning to declare that my worth and value do not come from what I accomplish or what I do. My worth comes from Jesus alone. Not my work, not my contribution to my family, not my to-do list. It doesn’t matter if I am busy for days or minutes, my worth doesn’t change.
Our world tells us what success looks like, but I want my own description.
Hope you find your value in what truly matters today & what will have a lasting impact!